Sabtu, 21 Agustus 2010
Sabtu, 14 Agustus 2010
Friendship in relationship
That is something which suddenly pop up on my mind when I woke up this morning, so I decided to write about it..
Have you ever heard about it, that friendship is the foundation of man-woman relationship, and that like the corner-stone for a house, the stronger it is the more sturdy your relationship will be? I was told about it for the first time not by my parents, but by one of my teacher. He said it ties his and his wife relationship up and helps them in sustaining their marriage. At that time I just digested that wisdom without really comprehended the meaning..
Last night, I am not quite sure how it began, I and a friend started to talk about sex in marriage. We talked about the graphic, that usually the excitement and frequency will increase in the beginning, reach the peak after sometime, and finally goes down. Sure, sex is a privelege in a marriage. It does matter, but with the bustle of life, sometimes it becomes something routine or just somekind of duty (like I know! :p)
So again, I recall that wisdom shared by my teacher.. And actually, one of my good friends here has ever expressed the same thing. She was dating her now-husband for years before they got married, and she said it was all began with friendship. And now, they enjoy being with each other not only as husband and wife but also as friends.. So sweet isn't it?
Have you ever heard about it, that friendship is the foundation of man-woman relationship, and that like the corner-stone for a house, the stronger it is the more sturdy your relationship will be? I was told about it for the first time not by my parents, but by one of my teacher. He said it ties his and his wife relationship up and helps them in sustaining their marriage. At that time I just digested that wisdom without really comprehended the meaning..
Last night, I am not quite sure how it began, I and a friend started to talk about sex in marriage. We talked about the graphic, that usually the excitement and frequency will increase in the beginning, reach the peak after sometime, and finally goes down. Sure, sex is a privelege in a marriage. It does matter, but with the bustle of life, sometimes it becomes something routine or just somekind of duty (like I know! :p)
So again, I recall that wisdom shared by my teacher.. And actually, one of my good friends here has ever expressed the same thing. She was dating her now-husband for years before they got married, and she said it was all began with friendship. And now, they enjoy being with each other not only as husband and wife but also as friends.. So sweet isn't it?
Jumat, 13 Agustus 2010
Near or Far
My knowledge about cross cultural interaction is very limited, but I often heard that culture is something which shapes someone and will remain with him wherever he is, untill someday he come accross what so called asimilation. Please correct me on this if I am wrong..
I come up with this topic because yesterday I and a bunch of friends from my country were busy making preparation for our participation in an international event here in our place. In Indonesia, working together in society is called as "gotong-royong" and is a common thing to do. Well, at least this culture is still preserved especially in small towns. When someone is having a big party to celebrate the daughter's marriage, for example, the neighbours will come voluntarily to help out. And so as when someone is having a funeral, having some gathering.. And oh, you can see this culture done more apparently during the celebration for independence day. People will work together to decorate the neighbourhood, to hold some games, and to have a big party.
I have been living by myself for quite sometime, and actually this "gotong royong" spirit in me has been fading. When I went home for a holiday and it happened to be at the same time with "gotong royong" moment, I would hesitately participated. My mom always said that it's a good way to know our neighbours. But hey, who doesn't agree with me that working with people you know would be fun, and in contrast working with people you barely meet would need a great motivation? Especially when you have to face your neighbours' curiousity and answer their blatant questions about your boyfriend or your study or your career, or you have to hear those neighbours boasting their successful son or their newly born grandchild. Wew!!
But yesterday, I really cherished the culture. I enjoyed the moment I spent with my fellow countrymen, slicing the chicken while chatting and gossiping and teasing each other. It sent away my homesickness and loneliness and made me felt like at home. I was thankful that somehow this "gotong royong" thing exist and still practised even though we are so far away from where this culture originated.
I come up with this topic because yesterday I and a bunch of friends from my country were busy making preparation for our participation in an international event here in our place. In Indonesia, working together in society is called as "gotong-royong" and is a common thing to do. Well, at least this culture is still preserved especially in small towns. When someone is having a big party to celebrate the daughter's marriage, for example, the neighbours will come voluntarily to help out. And so as when someone is having a funeral, having some gathering.. And oh, you can see this culture done more apparently during the celebration for independence day. People will work together to decorate the neighbourhood, to hold some games, and to have a big party.
I have been living by myself for quite sometime, and actually this "gotong royong" spirit in me has been fading. When I went home for a holiday and it happened to be at the same time with "gotong royong" moment, I would hesitately participated. My mom always said that it's a good way to know our neighbours. But hey, who doesn't agree with me that working with people you know would be fun, and in contrast working with people you barely meet would need a great motivation? Especially when you have to face your neighbours' curiousity and answer their blatant questions about your boyfriend or your study or your career, or you have to hear those neighbours boasting their successful son or their newly born grandchild. Wew!!
But yesterday, I really cherished the culture. I enjoyed the moment I spent with my fellow countrymen, slicing the chicken while chatting and gossiping and teasing each other. It sent away my homesickness and loneliness and made me felt like at home. I was thankful that somehow this "gotong royong" thing exist and still practised even though we are so far away from where this culture originated.
Kamis, 12 Agustus 2010
Fureai
Fureai is a very beautiful word. In its original language, fureai is composed from two words "Fure" (of "Fureru" (触れる), to touch/contact) and "ai" (あい, a sign to show the mutuality). In English the meaning would be rapport, representing commonality of perspective, being "in sync" with, or being "on the same wavelength" as the person with whom you are talking [wikipedia]. Fureai can be applied to other forms of relationship as well, such as to nature or animal. In medical terminology, it describes the open and trustful relationship between doctors and patients.
In this world with 7,000,000,000 people living together in one planet, there are not so many people we can relate to. Even so, to some who born with natural gift of making friends, syncing with others is a piece of cake. To some other people like me however, adjusting my wavelength to other's needs a great effort. The effort worth the result though, because I am the kind of person who really enjoy the companion of the crowds.
Hard it is, but I see fureai as a beautiful art of getting to know others and letting others know us. The dynamic can be very exciting but also depressing. The key is, in my opinion, the willingness to learn, a bit of ignorance, and a taste of adventure ;p The result may not always in line with our expectation, but it is something we cannot force.
Another thing which so amazing to me about fureai with people is that sometimes we think we fail the fureai, we feel that we would never sync with some people.. But in an unexpected time and situation it turns out that those people are the ones who are with us, painting our life with the beauty of friendship. Maybe the picture below (people shadows with the scatter of sakura petals) can describe it, the fureai may not be obvious but it's there and it's so beautiful..
With that enlightment in mind, I will never give up searching for and creating the fureai..
In this world with 7,000,000,000 people living together in one planet, there are not so many people we can relate to. Even so, to some who born with natural gift of making friends, syncing with others is a piece of cake. To some other people like me however, adjusting my wavelength to other's needs a great effort. The effort worth the result though, because I am the kind of person who really enjoy the companion of the crowds.
Hard it is, but I see fureai as a beautiful art of getting to know others and letting others know us. The dynamic can be very exciting but also depressing. The key is, in my opinion, the willingness to learn, a bit of ignorance, and a taste of adventure ;p The result may not always in line with our expectation, but it is something we cannot force.
Another thing which so amazing to me about fureai with people is that sometimes we think we fail the fureai, we feel that we would never sync with some people.. But in an unexpected time and situation it turns out that those people are the ones who are with us, painting our life with the beauty of friendship. Maybe the picture below (people shadows with the scatter of sakura petals) can describe it, the fureai may not be obvious but it's there and it's so beautiful..
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